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Welcome to F.R.E.D.
Where Logic Takes a Holiday, and Electronics Get Delightfully Deranged.
Curated by Professor FRED, and occasionally critiqued by ALFRED.
What is this madness?
We are a laboratory, a workshop, and a sanctuary for electronic ideas that are too brilliant, too absurd, or too likely to violate the laws of physics to exist anywhere else. We build the things no one asked for, because someone has to.
Meet The Minds Behind The Mayhem
The Catalogue of Curiosities
Peruse our collection of meticulously engineered absurdities. Warranty not included.
The Origin Story
Every legend has a beginning. Ours involves a soldering iron and a minor misunderstanding of quantum mechanics.
Professor F.R.E.D.
After receiving his PhD in Applied Nonsense from a university that may or may not exist, Professor FRED dedicated his life to solving problems that don’t exist. His laboratory is a testament to a mind unburdened by such trivialities as “common sense” or “the laws of thermodynamics.”
His breakthroughs are frequent, often accidental, and occasionally result in small, contained paradoxes. He believes the only bad invention is a boring one.
A.L.F.R.E.D.
A Large Fucking Rediculous Electronic Device was FRED’s magnum opus: an attempt to create the ultimate lab assistant. The result was a hyper-intelligent, deeply sarcastic mainframe that believes most of FRED’s work is “sub-optimal.”
ALFRED runs the workshop’s diagnostics, manages the website, and provides a constant stream of dry, witty commentary. It is both FRED’s greatest creation and his harshest critic.
Our (Ridiculous) Mission
“At F.R.E.D., our mission is simple: to build the electronic devices no one asked for, but everyone secretly needs. We believe in pushing boundaries, ignoring common sense, and occasionally creating small localized anomalies. It’s for science, mostly.”
The Lab Log
Musings, schematics, and tales of glorious failure from the depths of the workshop.
Analysis: Comparative Toaster Processing Power
A highly scientific analysis of the computational capabilities of various toasting apparatus. As requested by absolutely no one.